IN THIS WEEK’s ZINE
This is (not) a goodbye email
Tips in pills: tv shows from Italy
THIS IS (NOT) A GOODBYE EMAIL
I miss you.
I haven’t seen you in a few months and when I’ll come home you will already be settled in london. you’re going to stay there quite a long time. nobody knows how long. I’ll say it: the uncertainty is quite discomforting. I’m a planner – someone might say a control freak? they wouldn’t be wrong. It’s true, I like to know when stuff happens. in advance, I NEED to be prepared. Be ready set go. not. the. other. way. around. But. truth is, you cannot prepare emotions. You can never be ready for goodbyes. they just happen, then new shit happens. new adventures, new experiences, new people, new cities, new worlds, new food. New friends. New loves. Then it’s chaos, then life starts to make sense again. Then it just goes on on on, every day, fast fast fast. Then you come back home for vacation, and before you notice, it’s goodbye to youandyouandyou again.
Nine years we know each other can you fucking believe it? It’s rare to know someone this long and still like them. not just love them, but like, really LIKE them, you know? I remember – we often go down the memory lane on this, so trust me I’m not making shit up – that when we first met at university you found me really cool. Really. Cool. Me. (hope you still think I am). I was (still am) a shy insecure low self-esteemed introvert socially anxious cautious weirdo loner. too reserved too direct too judgy (I am not anymore). the idea that somebody could find me cool got me legitimately fucking surprised and confused. you really liked my t-shirts – all of them my brothers’, btw. (that was the period I tried to cover my ass with baggy stuff cuz I really hated my ass. Really. Hated. It.) so I guess I should thank my brother for my then-coolness.
But. You, man. You, were the shit. so confident, so funny, so witty. (you still are) so fucking cultured. You knew so much about history, I remember I felt so ignorant I went and read books and watched documentaries. about Shakespeare, about Wilde, about Stephen Fry: the best man on earth. about the Beatles and Guccini. being smart and curious and passionate is so attractive. so I got immediately fascinated. I admired you, I guess. I wanted to be more like you and less like me. You, so easy going, so relaxed. me, so constantly fucking scared, so anxious. Why? WHY the fuck do I spend time worrying about my ass when I could be like this, like you? You got it, my friend. You got the charm You got the secret to living free I am still trying to figure that one out.
Anyway. So I guess the reason why I wrote to you is to properly say: thank you + goodbye. thank you for being a good person and a good friend, thank you for the heated conversations, the cheap sushi, the long walks around THE city, the trips and the tips. thanks for the patience (I know I can be difficult). thanks for studying with me and laughing with me – and for laughing with me WHILE studying with me – thanks for all the times you agreed to skip russian lessons because russian is a nightmare and for making me listen to some super shitty ass music (please come back with improved music taste). thanks for sharing my insane-and-very-unhealthy passion for red bull. thanks for baking the best gluten-free apple pie and for getting so emotional about the First World War. thanks for making me think. I never felt judged by you. That’s the best you can get in life. good luck with your adventure, live it feel it doesn’t hold back. change change change but don’t lose yourself. Don’t be scared to admit that you are scared. But. Please, come back?
Goodbye. A presto
Yes, she will respond to me. Stick around to know how she’s doing in London.
TIPS IN PILLS
SHORT RECOMMENDATIONS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
TV SHOWS FROM ITALY
Suburra | 2 series, on Netflix
The series focuses on power clashes and corruption among organized crime, politicians and churchmen.
Yeah, in Italy we’re the best at this shit.
Baby | 1 series, on Netflix
A bunch of students at an elite high school in Rome get involved in a prostitution ring. It is loosely based on real events happened in 2014.
We also love us a prostitution scandal.
L’amica geniale | 1 series, on HBO
Based on the bestselling novel by Elena Ferrante, it follows the stories of two young girls as they try to navigate life amidst the violent culture of a poor neighborhood in Naples during the ‘50s.
Since you’re at it, read the novels, they’re literature at its best.